When I first bought Kaze, my old farmhouse in Shimonita, I was brimming with excitement and enthusiasm. The idea of transforming a piece of rural history into a sanctuary of creativity and renewal felt like the perfect project for me. Inspired by the raw energy of Gunma’s infamous Karakaze winds, I envisioned a space that embraced the spirit of natural flow, openness, and imperfection. At the start, I poured my energy into renovations, finding joy in every small transformation. Slowly but surely, Kaze began to reflect the dream I had for it.
But lately, I’ve found myself slowing down. I still love Kaze and the freedom it symbolizes, but I’ve noticed a shift in my motivation. I’ve started missing the warmth of my previous home in Tokyo – the convenience, the activities, the familiar routines. It’s not that I regret the move, but I’ve been feeling a bit... stuck. Where has finding balance at Kaze gone?
As I’ve reflected on these emotions, I realized they’re not unusual. In fact, they’re deeply human. Let me explain what might be happening, both for me and for anyone else embarking on a similar journey of change and transformation.
The Psychology Behind Finding Balance at "Kaze"
Nostalgia: It’s only natural to look back fondly on what you’ve left behind. For me, Tokyo wasn’t just a place—it was a lifestyle. My life there was filled with routines and comforts that brought me stability and joy. Nostalgia is our brain’s way of reconnecting us to those feelings, especially when we’re faced with something new and challenging.
Adjustment Fatigue: Moving from the buzz of Tokyo to rural Shimonita was a significant transition. While the idea of embracing simplicity and nature was exhilarating at first, the ongoing effort to adapt to a completely new environment can be draining. It takes time to build new routines and fully settle in.
Habituation: In psychology, habituation refers to how we adapt to repeated stimuli. At first, every step in Kaze’s renovation felt exciting. But as the novelty wears off, it’s easy for enthusiasm to dip. What once felt like an adventure can start to feel like a chore.
Cognitive Dissonance: Part of me feels conflicted. I chose this life because it offers freedom and creativity, but it’s undeniably different from the convenience and buzz of Tokyo. This inner tension between what I have now and what I’ve left behind can create moments of doubt.
What I’m Doing to Reignite My Spark
Recognizing these feelings has been the first step. I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to feel this way. Here are some strategies I’ve started using to move forward:
Celebrate Progress: Sometimes we get so focused on what’s left to do that we forget how far we’ve come. I’ve been taking time to appreciate what I’ve already achieved at Kaze—the green washi walls, the new oak floor in the living room, the overall naturalness that’s beginning to take shape.
Reconnect with Tokyo (Temporarily): I’ve allowed myself to revisit Tokyo, whether physically or through small rituals that remind me of my time there. This might mean cooking a favourite dish from a Tokyo café or playing the music that filled my Tokyo home. It’s a way to carry a piece of the city with me here.
Create New Routines: Kaze doesn’t have to be entirely different from Tokyo. I’ve started crafting small routines that bring me comfort, like sitting with a cup of Asahi (my favourite beer) after a day of work, or taking Alf, my dog, on new walks to explore the surrounding mountainside.
Break Down Tasks: The sheer scale of what’s left to do at Kaze can feel overwhelming. Instead of focusing on the big picture, I’ve been breaking things down into smaller, more manageable tasks. One small win at a time.
Engage with Others: Sharing my journey with others has been incredibly grounding. Whether it’s posting updates on Instagram or talking to friends about it, connecting with people helps me remember why I started this project in the first place.
Advice for Others in a Similar Situation
If you’re feeling stuck in a project or big life change, here are some things to keep in mind:
Be Kind to Yourself: It’s okay to miss the past or feel tired. These emotions don’t mean you’ve made the wrong choice.
Reflect on Your “Why”: Revisit the reasons you started this journey. Write them down, or even create a vision board to remind yourself of the bigger picture.
Balance Old and New: Bring elements of your old life into your new one. You don’t have to leave everything behind.
Share Your Journey: Whether it’s with friends, family, or on social media, sharing your progress can reignite your excitement and help you feel supported.
Celebrate the Small Wins: Every little step forward is progress. Don’t forget to celebrate the journey, not just the destination.
Moving Forward
Kaze is still a work in progress, and so am I. But that’s part of the beauty of it. Life isn’t about reaching perfection—it’s about embracing the imperfections and growing through them. By leaning into the psychology behind my feelings, I’m learning to balance nostalgia for the past with excitement for what’s ahead.
For anyone else on a similar path, know that you’re not alone. Change is hard, but it’s also where we find our greatest opportunities for growth. Let’s keep moving forward, one step at a time.
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